i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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