no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
