so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
