I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
