I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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