I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
