She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
