i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize