when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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