i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
