i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
