my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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