In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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