I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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