like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
