singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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