Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
