yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
