Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
