literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
