Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
