He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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