i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
