we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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