and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
