jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
