We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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