Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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