WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
