I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
