Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ttyl tear gas
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
