i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
