Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
