took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
