Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
