Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
