i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
