Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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