her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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