Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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