Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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