Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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