I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
