I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
