I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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