...so i touched it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
