I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
