Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
