He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
