Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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