Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
