it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
