youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
