ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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