u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
