3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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