just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
