Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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