Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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